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Dirty Peter Pan and the Long Black Penis of Evil
This is the first and currently only audiobook based on Peter Pan. It was the first audiobook that wasn't based on Harry Potter. This considered the worse audiobook of them all. Plot It starts off with Peter Pan jerking off. We then get a bit of insight to the life of Peter Pan just before he decides to dedicate furiously onto Wendy. Wendy is unhappy and attacks Peter. The second half of the audiobook is Peter pondering to himself on how to make Wendy happy again. Transcript Jim Dale - Dirty Peter Pan and the Long Black Penis of Evil. Read by Jim Dale. Peter was the leader of the boys because he was the gayest. Or maybe he wasn't. Peter had no idea how gay he really was, so he gave himself a great slurpy blowjob and he came dramatically all over his mates. (Masturbating/blowjob sounds) Peter Pan - "Oh (heavy breathing) yes! Oh yes! Oh fuck cunt! Oooh..." Jim Dale - Peter groaned. Peter Pan - "Come on!" Jim Dale - Peter said giving his large white cock a little shake. Peter Pan - "Nearly there! Come on! Oh! You take it! Oooh!" (Ejaculation sounds) Peter Pan - "Oooh yes!" Jim Dale - It oozed over the sides of his trousers, oh so gracefully and his boner was quite huge. If Peter was nine inches and a boy came to St Norbert's Home for Wayward Boys who said he was ten, why then, Peter would declare himself to be eleven...fucking...inches off lovely, fresh man sausage. Also, he could shit the farthest. That made his the undisputed leader...of the gays. As leader he made it his business to take shits on things in general. Sometimes it was dark and sometimes light and sometimes brown with orange corn bits packed inside. And he not happy with the way things were shaping up today, as far as his shit goes. So he was straining his arse very hard, squatted above the children to expel very large and solid fat poopy shit bullets. Peter Pan - (Heavy breathing and straining) I (Breathing) tit (Straining) Jim Dale - Jets of nigger were issuing out of his fat bottom. (shitting sounds) Jim Dale - Whole cauliflowers dropped out. (shitting sounds) Jim Dale - Peter held his hand over his nose turning desperate to avoid the eye watering stench. He fell back, momentarily staggered by the odor. Wendy - "How much of that stuff have you got left?" Jim Dale - Wendy queried. And off he went again. (shitting sounds) Peter Pan - "Ohh it's a boy!" (shitting sounds) Jim Dale - Peter erupted passionately. (shitting sounds, begins to slowly decrease) Jim Dale - Wendy had a face full of wet poop.She was frightfully furious. Wendy - "ERRNNGHHGHGH" Jim Dale - She said and gagged. Wendy - "Bad man shit! Bad man shit!" Jim Dale - She said. Peter felt horrible. He thought of something to do to please her, so he sat on the floor thinking about about it for a while. Peter Pan - "Oh yes!" Jim Dale - He thought. He could poke her up the chimney or he could take a yellow liquid and cover his trousers with astonishing splashes of homemade lemonade or he could sniff his hands with three fingers in her farty, chocolate place or he could take his niggers hung from trees and beat them until he came or he could take a shit into her fucking mouth three more times (yeah!) or he could have gay buttsex with Napoleon's formidable backside while arse-fucking L. Ron Hubbard vigorously with his two enormous dripping double penises or he could avoid spilling his arse liquid all over his face or he could die or he could sixty nine with himself from behind or he could fist babies' tiny assholes with his foot while fingering a gay midget's butthole or he could he could shout... Peter Pan - "I'm a little bird! Tweet! Tweet! Mother fucking tweet! tweet! Arseholes." Jim Dale - Or he could go back to J.K Rowling's apartment to cover her fugly face with sperms or he could poop and fart on gay spiks. Unknown - "Do you speak English?! You fucking beaners!" Jim Dale ''' - Or he could goatse twenty times until the Devil dropped out or he could murder Dumbledore or he could say... '''Peter Pan - "When I was your age I took penis in the poop hole for almost two days straight. I said "Fuck you kind parents for giving me buttsex to make me gay"" Jim Dale - Or he could eat Tinkerbell or he could lol when children died or he could deep throat Dumbledore or he could fucking molest Captain Hook's chocolate fucking pudding hole or he could drink my medicine of evil or he could release a massive fart and blow in her face till Wendy melted or he could swim in feces thicker than cold custard or he could squat above her face and poop a billion miles of butt jerky the size of solidarity unknown on the main land or he could fap his bent erection inside out or he could cum nasty, sticky, sweet stuff in her ice cream or he could change the world with his cock in his hand while quacking in a gay rage or he could plow her little cunt and bang the butt so firmly that God sat on the floor and cried like a little fucking faggot ahaha! Or he could break the fourth wall or he could listen to Dirty Potter or he could listen to Jim Dale- Wow um. In England go back all those years I use to be nigger train. Nigger,nigger,nigger,nigger nigger, nigger, nigger, POO POO (repeats over and over again until the end) List of deaths *Apparently Peter hangs black people, suggesting he killed some before or during the events of Dirty Peter Pan. For those too lazy to read Trivia *Despite negative reviews and being disliked by Dirty Potter himself, this audiobook is relatively favourable among trolls to use in online gaming e.g. Team fortress 2. *This audiobook has the least amount of characters in any of the other audiobooks with three (two if you discount Jim Dale). Category:Audiobooks Category:Specials Category:Audiobooks where characters die